To Get Seriously Wasted: Twilight, New Moon & Eclipse Drinking Game :P

The Twilight Drinking Game
• Take a drink every time Bella touches her hair
• Take a drink every time Edward looks constipated
• Take a drink every time Bella looks constipated
• Take a drink every time Bella stammers
• Take a drink every time Edward says he is dangerous
• Take a drink every time Edward and Bella stare into each others eyes for more than 3 seconds
• Take a drink every time Charlie looks very, very uncomfortable
• Take a drink every time Bella whines about something
• Take a drink every time Bella trips - Take 2 if Edward saves her
• Take a drink whenever Alice has a vision
• Take a drink every time Jasper makes wide open crazy eyes
• Take a drink every time Mike refers to Bella as “Arizona”
• Take a drink every time Bella bites her lip
• Take a drink whenever Edward treats Bella like a child
• Chug your drink when a vampire sparkles - don't stop until the sparkling does/you finish your drink
• Take a drink every time any vampire hisses like a cat
• Take a drink every time Bella quotes a book/person
• Take a drink every time Bella says/acts like she can't live without Edward
• Take a drink every time Edward says something rude to Bella
• Take a drink every time you see Jacob shirtless
• Take a drink every time Jacob tries to get Bella's attention
• Take two big drinks every time someone says the word “monkey”


The New Moon Drinking Game
1. This is a pre-film rule: drink for every preview of a film about letters that stars Amanda Seyfried. Seriously. You’ll be drunk before the opening credits. (Though there really aren’t opening credits, are there?)
2. Drink whenever someone takes a picture. Bella, Alice, Angela, etc.
3. Ok, now this one could mean you get dragged out of the theater on a stretcher, but give it a shot (no pun intended): drink everytime there’s plaid on screen. This is for every separate piece of plaid. For instance, in the cafeteria, Mike is wearing plaid, but so are a few of the extras in the background. Drink for each. (If you really want to get crazy, drink for the plaid curtains in Bella’s house.)
4. Drink when Edward gets out of the Volvo at school and walks towards Bella looking like something out of a wet dream. (Seriously, no matter how many times I see the movie, I gasp audibly when I see him.)
5. Drink every time Emmett says something so goofy it’s hot. Which is every time he speaks.
6. Drink every time a line from Twilight is repeated. For instance, when Alice says, “it’s time” or when Bella tells Charlie to be careful and he says, ” always am.”
7. Drink every time a line that’s so random, dated or dumb that it rivals “spider monkey” is uttered. ie: When Jake calls Bella “loca” or when Bella asks Emmett not to “hate the truck.” Or when Jess says “homeboy could have been a psycho.” Or when Jake says “age is just a number, baby.” You get the idea.
8. Drink when you get dizzy from the spinning in the scene where Bella’s lying on the forest floor. (Cause you know you do. I actually have to look away. Alcohol should help that.)
9. Drink when you see Sam come to save Bella in wolf form…because he looks like an animatronic Snuffleupagus. Moments later, drink again when Sam, Harry Clearwater and Jake exchange a silent look that rivals those on an episode of The Hills.
10. Drink for Jessica’s amazing zombie rant. We heart Anna Kendrick.
11. In the scene where Bella falls off the motorcycle drink two times: once when Jake does his fancy maneuver to get off his own bike and then when he shamelessly removes his shirt. You knew we were gonna say that one, didn’t you?
12. Drink when Mike Newton says “gotta get that pwotein in thew” in his baby talk voice.
13. Drink for the Burger King product placement in the movie theater scene.
14. (This is a good one!) Drink every time Bella cock teases Jake and they almost kiss. Such a tease, Bells!
15. Drink whenever the wolf pack makes their weird greeting noise. “Oooohheeeeee!”
16. Drink every time someone other than Bella drives her truck.
17. Drink whenever someone speaks a language that’s not English, but no translation is offered. (ie: Jacob or the Volturi.)
18. Drink during the amazingly funny, awkward and creepy elevator scene in Italy. Genius!
19. Whether you love it or hate it, drink for Alice’s Breaking Dawn premonition. (We love it!)
20. Drink for every Cullen that votes yes.


The Eclipse Drinking Game
Take One Drink When:
• Bella ditches Edward for Jacob, or Jacob for Edward
• Jacob begins a scene shirtless
• Jorts appear on screen (bonus: yell “JORTS!”)
• Edward asks Bella to marry him, and she says no
• Charlie tries to give Bella the sex talk
• Any actor (*cough*kristenstewart*cough*) mumbles so much that you miss the very important dialogue, dammit!
• Victoria leaps across the river, crossing back and forth between the Cullens’ and the wolf packs’ lands
• The camera pauses on all the Cullens posed like action figures
• There’s a flashback! (oh yes, and there are a-plenty!)
• Jasper flashes his CRAZY EYES
• Riley looks menacingly over the newborns, or off in the distance, or at the camera in general
• The first kill during the vampire rumble– Jasper’s flying-leap head-punch!
• They try to make you care about Bree
Take One Shot:
• For the tent scene
• When Bella punches a werewolf in the face (bonus: yell “FACEPUNCH!”)
• For the ‘third wife’ reference
Chug:
• As always, whenever any vampire sparkles, until said sparkling is completed
Pour One Out:
Obviously this is optional, since theaters don’t appreciate your spillage, even when it’s for a good reason. Which this is.
• For the replacement of jorts with cargo pants
• For the hideousness of the engagement ring
• For the faux feminism of Bella’s intent to hyphenate her name